lyrics
Throw The Dice
I was walking along the beach thinking of Heisenberg's Principle, the idea of our atoms bombarding and affecting everything around us, about the effect the wind that was blowing on me could have as all the breath it carried from so many lives, past & present, blended with mine.
I was wondering, too, what more than its gritty grains the sand gave up to me, what it lost or gained as I dug my heels in, commingling the impressions, desires from every person that walked upon it before I did, wondering if we were always exchanging raw data - every second of our lives... wondering if I could feel someone else's kiss in the wind... and was mortified. I don't want to steal anyone's kisses...
Wondering about reliquary halls, and the essence of what we are everchanging and if we were always recombining with the world around us, are we who we think we are? Or is this constant state of flux a negation of our being?
I was thinking of love and the cosmos...
I guess I always am.
Always indulging a nation of images
I imagine I hear the moans of captive tides
being discarded by the wind
That same fickle wind
that blows through my hair as
the setting sun
lights the copper-fire
burning within each strand
of barbed wire that
assaults my scalp,
and in this dimming light
I begin to wonder and reflect on...
Why?
Why each frazzled tendril of mine fights
with a bloodlust, trying to secure its place
on my otherwise carefree head...
Coiled in constriction
with a tenacity that I (futilely) wish to believe
belies my nature -
- But I know what I am.
Don't I?
These follicles of mine are contortionists,
rebellious, desperate wantons
holding their fierceness with
a tension never sprung.
Maybe my hair's prickly nature really expresses
my repressed desires,
my husband
says they are always unruly and tangled
because they love each other so much
that can't bear laying calmly apart.
It's a sweet thought, in a perverse way.
Is it my unsung cries of frustration
that tousle them in these moments of
mid-January leaf-breezing?
The sky's combing teeth
grooming me...
but for what?
Only the wind knows...
There is something about walking
along the ocean that always seems
to untangle me --
leaving me sea-scented
and perfumed by an atomizer
of cosmic possibility.
Feeling that luscious honey-spill
of light rays and pachouli that calls to me
from the Crissy Field dunes every twilight
I know... I sound loopy...
But I like me that way.
I walk on the sand and consider
whose foot imprints flirt openly now
with my bare toes, leaving their
impressions on me in this giving ground
if I were to follow along some righteous man's path
will forgiveness for all my sins later be found?
Can I breathe in the lives of a million pasts
from one gust of air circulating all times at once
in eddy currents of despair, hope, love, hate?
Does sunlight teleport secrets in ionic exchanges
whispered in worlds unseen and unheard
by the seizures of man?
Is the who of what I am changing
as I rummage through the relics of sandy past?
As I shed cells & respire
into the atmosphere of Now,
does the air commit mitosis with me
in fulfilling some sated purpose
with a plan to form other beings
through the emissary of my essence ?
What creatures do we birth
from the expulsion of our dark matter?
And whose galaxies will they portend?
Are we the sun they orbit to warm their cold spots?
In our emergence with an impartial world, is there choice, or
do we unbecome to the pinpoint of what we are not?
Or are we not knotted to the what of the us?
Ego living on in the tensegrity of eternity?
This is all babble, but I'll go on.
I am just one big question mark all the time.
But I like me that way...
The Japanese rebuild ancient temples
plank for plank
as the old wears out
to be borne anew --
rebuilding with
the same tools
simple structures millennia old
Their history
A heralding
A visceral outpour
streaming in muscle memory,
The Past's gifts mine in the veins of minds.
Culture becomes ingrained.
Encoded in their people's DNA.
Using techniques preserved
lemony fresh, their elders
and their elders elders live on...
their infinity blowing the sails of Theseus' ship...
The old is ever new --
this happens to me & you, too.
Our bodies rebuild us
cell for cell,
kiss by kiss,
year by year
Making all human beings
walking talking paradoxes
I wonder if we'll ever be able to replace
a shattered psyche
Prosthetically?
If Captain Hook had two fleshy hands
would he be the same man
that tried to kill Peter Pan?
We can clone Mary's lamb
with an eerie precision.
But why?
Won't she only just lose him again?
Cybernetics promises eternal perfection
but do we then cause cellular insurrection?
How many nerves can we Xerox?
Will that actually make a man?
How will we ever know
the damage we can do?
Frankenstein used sky's fiery cry
to make his Lazarus rise
from bits of Cain he was able,
but the gods threw him down a ditch
gave him the Old Scratch to itch
The Devil's in the details when a mad scientist
gets hooked on a Faustian pitch:
Money back guaranteed or double your destiny...
The Gods don't like a gamble
Unless they throw the dice
They always make their point
That's why they live in Paradise
And if they let you roll them
No need to think twice
They'll be all 7's & 11's and
You can bet you'll shoot snake eyes
However I am the master of my own blue heaven
I could hitch another ride, that's true
But I don't choose to in a galaxy of possibilities,
my dice keep rolling your point.
I don't know what, why, how or who
All I know is I'm a Right Bettor
when the shooter is you.
If I took the memory of your kiss on my lips
And used it to light a sandalwood pyre
then kept the incensed ashes of our desire
faithfully in the Shari-den or maybe in a bell jar
would our love live again?
Or is that just another relic collecting dust
on the shelf of one possible Past's unworthy trust?
We are the reliquary of all that we are
We are the combustion of Life's lust.
Love isn't some option to be weighed
and meted out in careful measure
It is every particle accelerating in
this universe.
It is a must!
"This desperation
Dislocation
Separation
Condemnation
Revelation
In temptation
Isolation
Desolation
Let it go
And so fade away
To let it go
And so fade away
To let it go
And so to fade away...
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